So, if anyone ends up reading this that *doesn't* know me, I am kind of a nerd.
Blogging about costuming, ranting about everything under the sun, whoda friggin' thought, right?
What may not be so readily apparent is that I'm an aspiring actress. I haven't done much with this dream, in part because I'm in no financial place to do so, and in part because I'm terrified of failing. Neither of these things is unreasonable, but both will prevent me from achieving anything and I really need to get past it, but delving into that particular neurosis is not the purpose of this particular blog.
Tonight, I finally sat down and watched Tom Hiddleston's NerdHQ* panel. He was, in a word, inspiring. I haven't gone full fangirl about Mr. Hiddleston, though I've been an admirer since I saw him in the first Thor movie. More recently, however, I've allowed myself to be drawn into his fandom a bit, and after watching that panel as well as his appearance as Loki to introduce the Thor 2 trailer, I'm sold.
There are as many types of actors as there are kinds of people. Some do it as just a job. Some do it because it's fun. But a select few do it because there is nothing else they could possibly do. I don't mean that in a belittling, "they have no other skills" sort of way. I mean it in the same way as if someone were to observe a fish and say that it swims. Well, of course it swims. It's in its nature to swim. If it were not to swim, it would die. THAT is what acting is for that select group. Acting is part of their biology. They breathe it in and it courses through their veins, bringing them life and filling them with, as Loki so eloquently said, "glorious purpose." When they speak of their vocation, they come alive, animating and sparkling like a diamond suddenly thrust into the light, dazzling and breathtaking to behold.
Tom Hiddleston is one of those select few. So is David Tennant. They are nerdy about their art, and it is a marvelous thing to witness.
Watching that panel reminded me why I love to perform. I love that feeling of bringing something off of the page and breathing life into it. I love researching roles to see what other actors have done with them. I love filtering the role through my own body, making it uniquely mine. I love finding a character in myself, as well as finding myself in the character, making that connection, then being the conduit through which the audience connects to that character.
So, filled with my own glorious purpose, I will start making strides. I will not let the minutia of the everyday deter me from my goal. I will succeed, and someday, I will be sitting in my own panel at NerdHQ, fielding questions from people whose lives I have touched, and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to inspire the next generation as I have been inspired by those two skinny British blokes.
So thank you, David Tennant and Tom Hiddleston. Thank you for being so passionate about what you do.
Thank you for your inspiration. I needed to be reminded, and I will not forget.
* For those not familiar with NerdHQ, it's an event run by Zachary Levi and the other fantastic people from thenerdmachine.com that happens simultaneously with San Diego Comic Con. They have all kinds of groovy stuff going on, but the big thing they do is Conversations for a Cause, wherein they hold mini-panels with whatever celebrities/industry guests they can manage with the hectic SDCC schedule; audience members pay $20 for a ticket to these intimate, 300-seat-audience panels, and all the proceeds go to benefit Operation Smile, a charity that facilitates reconstructive surgery for children born with cleft palettes.