Okay, so there's this whooooole thing where girls hate on girls. Like, a lot. The fat ones hate on the skinny ones, the skinny ones hate on the fat ones. The ugly ones hate on the pretty ones, and the pretty ones hate on the ugly ones. Rich, poor, black, white, brown... There are all these lines in the sand that we keep drawing, saying these people are less awesome, uh, well, because reasons.
Don't get me wrong. I understand the reason behind it. It's base-brain, tribal stuff that we like to think we've evolved past. And that's just the surface stuff. I wish it was something as simple as skinny girls hating on fat girls or vice versa, but it's deeper than that. It's something rooted deep in female psychology, wherein women are competitive and catty because of a drive to make other women seem less desirable to men and thereby minimize the competition.
Here's the thing, ladies: we all suck at something, and we're all awesome at something. Frequently, those somethings have absolutely nothing to do with how we look. I'm good at music and spatial understanding. I struggle to be responsible handling my money. Neither of these have anything to do with my appearance.
So can we just stop? Right here, right now. Like so many things, it starts with you. One person, deciding they will make a change. Sure, it may not change the world, but since when did generating a little more kindness in your world become a bad thing? Be supportive of each other instead of tearing each other down. If someone is excited about losing weight, celebrate with them. If someone is excited about gaining weight, join them in their happy dance. If they're feeling down on themselves, give them words of encouragement. If they hate on themselves, give them the good swift kick they need to knock that off.
Now, I'm not saying encourage unhealthy behavior. We, as Americans, have an incredibly wide variety of unhealthy lifestyles. But there are all kinds of unhealthy. I can guarantee you that at 5'7" and 210 lbs, I'm in better health then several skinny people I know. My blood pressure is good. I'm not diabetic. All my numbers are good, except that pesky one on the scale. Should I be working to change it? Probably. My joints probably aren't big fans of having to lug around all that weight, but I refuse to get on the self-hate train. I definitely refuse to let that hatred become my motivation to change. Change fueled by hatred never led anywhere good. Rather, if and when I do decide to change, it will be because I love myself and want to be my best me for as long as possible.
Long story short: love yourself. Love others. Encourage them when they need it. Don't let them make excuses when their behavior is blatantly detrimental. And stop being Judgy McSnarkyPants. It's about progress, not perfection. The sooner we all learn that, the better off we'll be.
**EDIT: 6 August 2014**
Having since learned more, I felt compelled to make an additional note. The whole "evolutionary" thing I was talking about is mostly crap. Most of the reason women are catty and competitive is because we've been programmed by our culture and the media to have that attitude. Take control of your own attitudes, kids.
Obesity is NOT a problem. Weight alone is not a health determinant. Check out the Health at Every Size movement and fatnutritionist.com. (Let's not shame people in the same post decrying that very thing.)
ReplyDeleteThere are people who make unhealthy lifestyle choices and are obese because of it; they are the "fat people" that get the most exposure, and they're certainly not a myth.
ReplyDeleteThe point I was making was that they aren't the only ones making poor choices, and just because someone may look obese doesn't mean they aren't healthy. It's about encouraging positive behavior, not enabling bad behavior, regardless of size.